Manners, politeness, courtesy, call it what you will…

This may seem like a strange subject to write a blog about, but I have witnessed a couple of incidents recently where much unpleasantness could have been avoided if only the parties involved had observed a little common courtesy towards each other, right from the start.

I'm going to sound like an old codger now, but my mother was a stickler for manners, and taught us to behave with courtesy to everyone.  She was, and still is, a great believer in "do as you would be done by".

To this day, I send a handwritten thank you note to someone who has hosted an enjoyable week-end, given me a nice present, wined and dined me well; in business, I write a thank you to someone who has referred a new client, or who has been particularly complimentary about the job I have done for them.  Little instances of thoughtfulness such as these brighten someone's day, make them smile, and think well of you.

It seems that today, society has little time for such niceties.  We are all too busy rushing around, trying to get an increasing number of tasks done in what seems to be a decreasing amount of time in which to do them.  We forget to say please, and thank you, to hold open a door for an elderly person, even to smile and say good morning, or hello, to someone we don't know but see every day in the bus queue, or at the till in the supermarket.

How do you feel when someone pays you an unsolicited compliment or simply smiles as they greet you?  Happy?  Less stressed?  Sometimes, the seemingly trivial acts we perform are the most important.  Courtesy is an example.  We refer to it in different ways, such as civility, good manners, politeness, decency, respect for others, thoughtfulness, consideration.  Whatever we call it, courtesy is NOT trivial.

Good manners cost nothing and can have a profound effect on other people.  We can literally make someone's day by paying attention to these little things, which then has a knock-on effect in our own lives.  Just take a few moments to think about it, and how you feel when someone has been "nice" to you.

Manners can be overlooked in business.  Who amongst us hasn't returned a 'phone call, or replied to an email?  How many of us have invested time and sometimes money compiling a new business proposal, or a report, sent a carefully crafted and polite letter or email with the attachment, and had no response?  Is this because businesses are rushing around too?  Do they ignore anything that doesn't produce a measurable return on investment?  Or is it because of the rise and rise of social media and the many communication options now available?  Perhaps we sadly just expect less these days.

Courtesy is about building relationships with people, and in the business world it is people that influence your success or failure.  If you feel comfortable with someone, as they do with you, better communication and trust will develop, leaving less room for misunderstandings.

There is a great opportunity out there for businesses that pay attention to detail, for those that can deliver and delight with polite, timely responses.  There is a chance to capitalise on their attention to detail, their ability to communicate, their prompt return calls.

Compared with the other challenges of running a business, this is easy!  You don't need qualifications, you don't need training, you don't need a coach.  You just need to remember the manners your mother taught you.